Love is a mystery
by elizabethnbrown95
Summary: Rachel is your average teenage girl. She has her hobby, Glee club, and that's all that seems to matter to her. Until someone finds their way into her thoughts. What will Rachel do when she finds herself falling in love with the wrong person?
1. Chapter 1

Walking down the hallways of McKinley High School is torture. You never know when you might get slushed, or when someone just decides they want to hurl an insult at you. I am Rachel Berry, and I am about as confident as they come. At least that's what I let people think. I am part of the Glee club, which I find pretty amazing for a young girl like me. I have talent, and I know it. Sometimes it just gets to my head too much. I ruin friendship after friendship, because my confidence is just too overwhelming. I beg Mr. Shue for every single solo that could possibly come about. Honestly, I have no idea what I would do without Kurt. He keeps me sane. Kurt Humble is a unique guy, and he always makes me feel welcome. We've always been outcast at this school, but I feel like Glee club has made us both stronger. I use to date this guy named Finn, and of course like normal relationships it just didn't work out. Oh well, things happen.

I walk to my locker, and someone is already standing there waiting for me.

"Hey, Kurt", I smile as brightly as possible, but sometimes he can see right through me.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh the usual. You dress like a freak, blah blah."

"Ugh, I can't stand these people. I wish they would just look at us the same."

"Who cares, at least we have each other." I hug Kurt, but I get shoved big time. I push Kurt into the locker, and everyone is staring at that point. I hear Santana laugh, but she always laughs at me.

"Get a room, freaks", Santana says between breaths of air, because she's laughing so hard.

I couldn't control the tears coming down my face. I just wanted one day to walk inside that building and to just feel wanted or even important. I am sick of the girls making snide remarks every time I turn around. I put my back on the wall, and I slide down. I put my head on my knees, and I just let all the tears fall. I try to be strong for everyone, but I can't anymore. I hear the door open, but I'm sure they'll walk right past me. I am invisible.

"Rachel, are you okay", I realize its Mercedes instantly.

I look up at her, and I give a half smirk. Maybe she will leave me alone, because I smiled. She doesn't, she slides down next to me. I've never really gotten along with Mercedes, but we try. We both are pretty strong singers, and just want to beat each other every chance we get. We compete for solos and so on. If I thought I'd be crying next to Mercedes, I'd call my own mind a liar.

"I am okay. Thanks for asking, Mercedes."

"Who was it this time?"

"Santana. The usually, oops sorry for bumping you trick. I ran into Kurt, and then she just had to say get a room to us. I was so embarrassed."

"Don't be. Honestly, it's almost like she has a crush on you. The way she is constantly only bothering you."

"Ha! Santana like me?" I almost laughed hysterically at the thought of her liking me. The big bad Santana liking me? That's nonsense.

"You never know, Rachel. She could. Some people have funny ways of showing it. I'll see you in Glee club."

She gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and she left me there in my thoughts. What if Santana does like me? Do I like her back? I am probably thinking way too far into this. It probably means absolutely nothing. She just likes to see me upset. Exactly, Santana just likes hurting people. I tricked myself into believing that as I walked to History.

There are many classes in this world that you may enjoy, but in my opinion History is way too boring. I don't care about the civil war, or even how the country was founded. It was a long time ago, and it isn't going to affect me right now. I wish we learned about things that were happening at the moment. That would make things far more interesting. I can feel myself nodding off when the bell rings. I love hearing that bell at this time. It means I am going to Glee club. I gather my books, and I head out of the room with my biggest smile. This was definitely the best I've felt all day. That's when I see Santana up ahead of me, and I slow my pace down. I don't want to be caught in the Santana tornado again. When I see her quick her pace, I am guessing to head to Glee club also. I walk faster. I get into the classroom as soon as the bell rings. I see Mr. Shue writing on the board, and I take my usual seat in the front.

"So, class. Anyone want to sing first today", Mr. Shue asks. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to sing a new song. A song no one would probably think I'd sing. It explains how I felt today all too well.

"Okay, Rachel. Floors yours", Mr. Shue says as he walks to the nearest seat.

I hear snickering in the back of the room, and I knew it belonged to Santana. I wasn't going to let her bother me. Not this time. I hear the piano begin, and I walk to the middle of the room. I close my eyes, and I breathe. I think to myself one more time, don't let her bug you. This is your time to shine.

"Crowded hallways, are the loneliest places. For outcast and rebels, or anyone who just dares to be different. And you've been trying for so long to find out where your place is, but in their narrow minds there is no room for anyone who dares to do something different."

I open my eyes, and I stare directly at Santana. I don't let her intimidate me. I don't lose the eye contact.

"Trust the one who's been where you are wishing all it was but sticks and stones. Those words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone. You're not invisible. Hear me out, there's so much more to life than what you're feeling now. Someday you'll look back on all these days and all this pain is gonna be invisible. Oh, invisible."

I close my eyes, and when I finish the song I open them again. Everyone is staring at me, and Mercedes is the first to get up and give me a hug. It was followed by Kurt, Blaine, Artie, Sam, Tina, Brittany, Finn, Puck, Mike, and even Quinn joined in. Mr. Shue stood up out of his chair, and he sat their clapping. Santana still sat in her chair in the back, didn't even stand. I stared at her, and deep down I was really curious what she was thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

After my killer performance during Glee club, Kurt and Blaine decided to invite all our friends to go to Breadsticks. I thought this was a perfect way to spend time with them, and maybe not scare them away like I always do. It's my turn to make the changes, I need to become less invisible. Kurt and Blaine pick me up at about 7 o'clock. I wanted to look presentable, so I decided to put on a nice pink frilly shirt with skin tight blue jeans.

"Come on, Rachel. We need to get going", Kurt says, the annoyance prominent in his voice.

"I am coming, hold on", I say, well shouting. I am upstairs in my room. I don't think Kurt realizes that when a girl says she is ready, it really means wait another ten minutes. I jump up from my seat in front of my mirror after I applied my finishing touches on my make-up, and I run downstairs.

"Ready, let's go", I say with all the excitement in the world.

I can't exactly remember if Kurt invited Santana or not. I guess I hope not, because I don't want to see her again today. She never said anything after I sang, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. It is really starting to freak me out. I don't want to think about her, but I can't help it. Maybe it's because of how mean she is, and I just don't understand how someone could be in such a crappy mood all the time.

"Rachel, let's go. We're here", Kurt snaps his fingers in front of my face.

"Oh sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention", I say still totally oblivious to the world.

"Obviously, you've been daydreaming since we got in the car. I think Mercedes, Tina, Artie, and Mike are already here."

I nod, and I step out of the car. The air hits me hard, it is a cold December night. I wish I wore a heavier jacket. That's when I hear the voice, the voice I've been dreading to hear all night.

"Well, well. If it isn't Berry the troll", Santana snidely remarks.

"What do you want Santana", I barley whisper the question. I can feel my breathing hitch, and I just want to get inside the restaurant. I don't want to be left outside with her, but no one else was outside. It was just the two of us.

"Just wanted to come eat, and have a lovely time with some friends. I am actually shocked they even invited you."

I put my head down, I didn't want her to see the hurt in my eyes. "Why do you hate me so much, Santana? I've really done nothing to you."

I hear her breathe hard, and I'm not sure why. Is she mad, because I questioned her? She's probably just annoyed, probably bored. I am being too much of a wimp for her.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I look up. If it wasn't for the fact that these were my own two eyes, I'd say they were lying. Why was Santana touching me? Why isn't she utterly repulsed by me?

"I don't hate you, Berry. I just have to give you a hard time. I do have a reputation to hold up at that school."

I laugh. I don't know why, but I start laughing so hard. She has a reputation to hold up? That is the best dang reason she has for being an evil witch to me all this time. How pathetic, I turn on the back of my heels and walk into the restaurant. I never turn around to see her reaction.

"Rachel, were have you been? I was just about to go looking for you", Kurt asked. He did look genuinely concerned.

I put the fakest smile I can on, "I just was sitting by the car. Needed the fresh air to clear my mind."

He nods, and I know the conversation is over with. It's amazing how guys never seem to notice when you are truly upset. If you smile, they think everything is alright. Just in the back of my mind, I keep finding myself thinking about Santana again. I keep looking at the door, actually praying she'd walk through them.

"So, Rachel. I really loved the song you sang in Glee club today", Mercedes was attempting to include me in the conversation.

"Yeah, I really loved it. It really hit home", Tina said, trying to join in.

I can feel all the eyes on me, and I smile.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be heard. Like the song says, I felt invisible", I feel like a robot when I'm talking. Like I'm not coming up with the words, it's someone else in my brain. I feel myself look back at the door countless times, and Santana still hasn't showed up. I wonder what happened, I hope she isn't extremely angry with me.

"Hey, guys", Quinn says as she sits down next to Tina. When I turn around, I see Santana walking in hand and hand with Brittany. I feel my insides bubbling, and I feel the rage coming to the surface. I suppress it as best as I can. I don't want anyone to notice.

"Hey, Quinn", I say with the biggest smile.

I hear Santana begin to laugh, and I look over at her.

"Do you seriously have a problem again, Ms. Reputation", I snidely remark. I was finally the one being mean, and it kind of felt good. Santana took a little taken back by what I said, but she recomposed herself pretty well.

"Look, troll, if you want to have an attitude go for it, but don't you dare have an attitude with me. You'll just end up picking up your teeth off the floor."

I get out of my chair, and I walk to the door. I didn't look back, and I couldn't. I felt embarrassed, and I didn't want to be sitting in a room with people who just feel plain sorry for me now. I hear the door open behind me, and I know someone came out to comfort me. I am guessing Kurt.

"Kurt, look, I don't need your sympathy", I turn around, and I am met eye to eye with Santana.

"Ha, I'm definitely not twinkle toes", Santana says. She actually looks decently amused, and she smiles at me.

"I know that now", I keep my voice steady. I don't want her to know I'm a little worried about being alone with her again.

I feel her walk closer to me, and she places her left hand on my neck. I'm taken aback, but it might be just the coldness of her hand. I feel her pull me closer. I am so close to her, I can feel her breath on my lips. She places her lips on mine, and I feel the electricity shoot through my body. I am wondering if she felt the same thing, but I pull away. I took one look at her, and her own eyes were wide. I turn around, and I walk towards home. I reach towards my lips, and I touch them. I never got that electricity with Finn. I am lost in thought the whole walk home. I never thought I'd be up late at night thinking about Santana Lopez.


	3. Chapter 3

**I wrote this paragraph pretty quick, but I thought it was needed (sorry it's so short). I saw a review where they thought Santana was too mean. I agree. She will get nicer sooner or later. Thanks for even taking your time to read this. Enjoy! :) **

I hear my alarm go off, but I push the snooze button. It was a long night of tossing and turning, and countless times picking up my phone to check the time.

"Rachel, honey. It's time to get up", I hear my dad say.

I let out a groan, and I sit up. All I need is some coffee to wake me up, and I am considering going to the small café near my house. I walk into the bathroom, quickly brush my teeth. I slip on a nice shirt and jeans, and I run down the stairs.

"What's the rush, Rachel", my dad asks as he gives me a sideway glance from the newspaper.

"Oh. I am going to the café, do you want anything?"

"No, thanks. Have a good day."

I run over to him, and kiss his cheek and head out the door. The air hits me hard, and I wrap my scarf around my neck. I pull out my phone, and I text Kurt.

_Hey, do you want to meet up at the café by my house?_

It hardly takes any time at all before he responds back to me.

_Sure, I'll meet you there._

I walk into the small café, and I take in the aroma of coffee. The table nearest the window is my favorite.

I can't help but think about Santana. About the kiss that took place last night. I don't know what it means. I am the last person who would ever consider themselves homophobic, I've just never seen a girl in a romantic way. All night, I was curious if kissing Santana made me a lesbian. I look at my dad's every single day, and I am amazed by the love they share for each other. It's something I thought I had with Finn. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think Santana was one of the prettiest girls at McKinley High. I was too deep in thought to see Kurt come back with two coffees and muffins. He sits down next to me and snaps in front of my face.

"Earth to Rachel", he starts to laugh when I look bewildered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even see you walk in."

"It's okay, I hope the coffee and muffin is okay with you."

"It is, thanks."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing", I look towards the ground, hoping he doesn't see right through me. That was always something Kurt was good at. He knew when I was lying and when I was telling the truth. That's why I chose to never lie to him.

"Yeah, try again, Rachel."

I laugh, "okay, but it's a secret, you can't tell anyone."

"Okay, what is it?"

I look to my left and then to my right, "Santana kissed me."

The look on Kurt's face was priceless, it was like he saw a ghost. He didn't move an inch, and he didn't even say a word. Which was unusual, considering he is Kurt Hummel.

"She kissed you", the confusion so evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I was shocked, too. The problem is, I just don't know how I feel about it."

"It's simple, Rachel. Do you see yourself being with her? Walking down the hall hand in hand with Santana Lopez?"

I think about this, I picture it in my head. It actually doesn't seem all that bad, but I don't want to admit that to myself. I think about all the times Santana has tormented me, and then it suddenly pops into my head.

"What if this is a sick joke? What if Santana only kissed me to see what I'd do?"

"I doubt that. She can be mean, but I doubt she'd go to those lengths just to hurt you. My biggest question is, do you still love Finn? If not, maybe it's time to look into another relationship."

I look down at the ground, and it probably looks like I'm studying it. In reality, Finn was my first love. He was the first person to see me for more than just a nerdy, weird girl. He loved me for me, even though I'm annoying and way too self-centered. He broke up with me, because he thinks he's still in love with Quinn. I don't believe that, though. She's never been the one for him. It hurts every time I see them walk down the hall, and Finn giving Quinn the look he use to give me. The look of pure affection.

"I still love him, but I don't think I'd ever go back to him. He chose Quinn, and I couldn't even consider going through that pain again. I don't want to be his second choice."

"Then talk to Santana about the kiss. Maybe it means more to you then you even know at the moment. I always wondered why she messed with you so much."

I nod, and I stare into my coffee. I agree with Kurt. I have to talk to Santana about the kiss or it is going to bother me forever. I just want to know what it meant for her. I want to know if it meant as much to her as it did to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**I thought it'd be nice to put this next chapter in Santana's P.O.V. Just to give an idea of what she is thinking herself. **

Santana P.O.V

I don't know if Rachel is oblivious, or she just doesn't want to like me. I always give her sideway glances in the hallway, just enough discreetness so she might not realize me staring. Every mean or hateful thing I say to her, is because I'm caught off guard by her standing so close to me. I don't even know when this crush started to form. I just know every single time I hear her sing, I get goose bumps. I'm surprised no one notices, especially Brittany. I honestly can't believe I'd ever have thoughts that weren't completely about Britt.

When Rachel sang that song in class the other day, the one about being invisible. I really connected with her, I would never admit that. Sometimes I think if I'm not this big and bad Santana, I'll fall deep into the crowd. No one would see me, I guess I'd be invisible.

I walk through the double doors, with my usual Cheerios's uniform on. I see Quinn as soon as I walk in, I began to walk in her direction when I am ran into. I look up, and of course it is Rachel.

She bends down to pick up her books, "I am so sorry, I didn't see you there."

I am far more curious to know if she knows who she ran into, because I don't think she's looked up once.

I bend down with her and I whisper, "its fine."

She looks up, and her eyes meet mine. I look into those brown eyes, and for some reason I feel comfortable with the silence. Being near her made me feel so alive, and I haven't felt this way in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I love Brittany. She will always be my first love, and the girl I came out for. It's just, when I'm with her now Rachel's face pops into my head. When I sing a song in Glee club, she is who I am singing to. All these feelings have been building up, and I am way too terrified to let them out. I am actually more scared of the fact she will reject me. I've been so horrible to her. I can imagine the things she has thought about me.

"Uh, Santana, what are you doing on the floor", I hear Brittany ask.

I look up, and I don't see Rachel anywhere. I pick myself off the ground, and I smile at Brittany. Just a small one, trying to wipe the confusion off my face.

I put my arm around Brittany, "I was looking for something, must have lost my train of thought."

"Oh, I do that a lot. What were you thinking about?"

I look down, "I was thinking about you, of course."

Brittany smiles and gives me a quick peek on the cheek, "See you after class."

I smile and nod. I turn around and head towards Spanish. I seriously have no idea why I have to take a bogus class like this. I am honestly more curious about how Rachel took off so fast, especially without me noticing. I guess I was a little bit in my own train of thought. I need to talk to her though, or maybe I need to talk about things with Brittany first. She deserves to know I am crushing big time on a certain Brunette.

I walk into the classroom, and I instantly put my head on my desk. Seriously, screw this class. I will do fine whether I listen or not. I doze off a little, well not a little. I don't even hear the bell ring. My teacher had to come tap on my desk to wake me up. That was kind of embarrassing, and she lectured me for a good ten minutes about how disrespectful that is and stuff. Oh well, I don't care.

I walk down the hall, slower than usually. I am already late to Glee club, may as well take my time getting there. I hear a noise coming from the girl's bathroom, almost like someone was crying. Now, I wouldn't usually go snooping, I am not noisy. The crying just sounded so familiar, and before you know it I am opening the bathroom door.

I wasn't surprised to see Rachel. She didn't notice me, or just didn't care that someone walked in the door. I walk slowly up to her, and I place my hand on her shoulder. She flinches a little, but soon relaxes under my touch. She never looks up, and I honestly don't care if she does. I love just being with her.

Rachel slowly looks up, "why aren't you in Glee club?"

I look back at her but slowly turn away, "got in trouble in class. I was running late, didn't feel the rush to go to class."

She nods, "yeah, I get it."

I keep my eyes focused on hers, "What's wrong?"

She looks back down at the ground, "I killed my nyada audition. Well, not kill. I choked."

I am astonished, the Rachel Berry choke during an audition? An actual singing audition, I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it.

"I doubt it was that bad, Rachel."

She shrugs my hand off her shoulder, "oh, it was bad. I couldn't even remember the words to the dang song. A song I've been singing for as long as I can remember. I don't understand how that happens, or why it had to happen on the day of my biggest audition. By the way, thanks for seeing how I am doing, but you really don't have to sit in here with a mopey, over dramatic girl."

I laugh, "you are over dramatic, but I love it. Look, everyone has their off days. This was just one of those. It'll be okay. Is there another way you can get her to hear you?"

She nods, "yes, I called her inviting her to nationals, but who knows if she'll even go. She's way too busy for a girl who can't even sing in front of her."

Rachel looks at the ground again, and I can see the tears in her eyes begin to fall again. I don't know what to do, I want to scoop her into my arms and just let her know she isn't alone. I just don't think that's appropriate at the moment. I stare at her for a second, pondering what to do. I finally decide to wrap her into a hug.

I could feel Rachel's body tense up at first, but she relaxed into it.

I whisper, "I really like you, Rachel Berry."

"I really like you too, Santana Lopez."


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel's P.O.V.

I stood on the stage in the auditorium. The same stage where we killed our first number of Don't Stop Believing. The original New Directions, the first time we actually worked together. It was great. Even when Mr. Shue critiqued it, I knew he was jumping around inside his head.

I stare out into the empty seats, and I say what I always say before auditions.

"Hi, my names Rachel Berry. I'll be singing I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables musical."

The background music was completely in my head.

"There was a time when men were kind. And their voices were soft. And their words inviting. There was a time when love was blind. And the world was a song, and the song was exciting. There was a time when it all went wrong."

I felt a tear slip from my eye, and I turned my head. Santana walked into the room. She nodded to continue singing.

We sang together, "I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life, worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung, no wine, untasted."

I looked over at her and smiled. We continued the song, and I would indeed say we killed it.

At the end, Santana stopped singing and it was just me again.

"I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living, so different now from what it seemed."

Santana starts cheering when I hit the high note, and I smiled graciously at her.

I sang just above a whisper, "Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."

I went to sit on the end of the stage when I heard applause coming from every angle. The entire Glee Club was coming through the doors, whistling and clapping.

Mr. Shue was the first to talk, "Girls, that was an amazing duet. That might even be a song we should work for nationals. It's tough, but it showcases great voices."

Santana walks forward and jumps off the stage, "gosh, Mr. Shue. It wasn't that great. Just having some fun."

She walks over to Brittany, who looks more than happy to see her. I feel a pang of jealously in my heart. Santana and I talked for hours over the phone last night. Considering every option on what to do about our new profound feelings for each other. Neither of us wanted it to come out that we liked each other before nationals, we didn't want people worrying about us instead of this big opportunity we have in front of us. The opportunity to finally win nationals after all these years of tries and failures. We decided we'd figure all this out after nationals, but we'd have to be discreet if we want to see each other. I figured she should wait to break up with Brittany later, also. I knew it would hurt seeing them together, but I was more worried about how people would take Santana and me.

I jump off the stage, and I get a side hug from most of the members of the New Directions. I am just happy I have this huge support team. I walk out the door, and I start to head to the bathroom.

Finn runs up behind me, "Hey, Rachel. You sounded great out there, I mean really phenomenal."

I smile, "Thanks, Finn."

He looks down then up, "Look, I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner one day. I mean, to just catch up. We haven't really talked since the breakup, and I miss you."

I look to my left, I see Santana's eyes boring into me. I know this dinner will be completely harmless. Finn is dating Quinn, and we haven't even talked to each other in months. Santana has nothing to worry about, and neither do I.

I look up and smile, "Yeah, I'd love to catch up. Text me the details."

Finn looks pleased and leaves without a question. I head to my locker, I need to get a few things for class. I finally feel content with my life. I know I screwed up my nyada audition, but my dreams were huge. My dreams were so unrealistic. It is time for a new Rachel.

Santana grabs my hand, "Let's go." She is leading me into the girl's restroom, and she checks each stall before finding a way to lock the door.

She finally looks at me, "Why were you talking to Finn?"

I look at her, "He's my friend, and he wants to catch up like old times."

"Old times mean the times when you guys were dating. Is that what you want?"

I look at her, pure shock written all over my face. "What are you talking about? There's nothing going on between Finn and me, you are overreacting."

She looks down, "Yeah, I guess I am. We aren't even together."

I kiss her cheek, "We aren't, but soon enough, Santana." I walk out the door without waiting for a response. I don't think I've ever seen Santana get jealous. I didn't know she had that emotion. Why would she even be jealous about Finn?

I bump into Quinn, "Dang it, I'm sorry."

She looks at me, "Yeah, its fine."

"How are you and Finn?"

She looks a tad angry, "We broke up."

She leaves me alone in my thoughts. Quinn and Finn broke up? Does this mean he was asking me on an actual date? That would make sense why Santana would be upset. She probably thinks I'm replacing her. I pull out my phone, and I quickly search for Santana's name.

_Santana, I just heard that Quinn and Finn broke up. Why didn't you tell me? I would never have accepted that invitation to go for dinner if I knew. I'm sorry, as soon as I see Finn I'll cancel._

I didn't have to wait too long for a response.

_No, you were right. I shouldn't have gotten jealous over something so small. You don't have those feelings for Finn anymore, and I won't worry about it. But we aren't together, and I can't call claims over you. I just really like you, Rachel._

I smile down at my phone.

_I really like you, too._

I put my phone into my dress pocket, and I head to Glee club.


	6. Chapter 6

Santana P.O.V.

I walk down the hallways every single day with a smile on my face, and I try to hide every single thing that hurts me. People think that just because I'm popular, I get everything handed to me. I mean, I've had a few things handed to me, but not everything is. I can't even be with the person I really want to be with, because someone would ruin us as soon as they found out. I can't stand seeing her strut down the hall, and every guy is staring at her. Rachel doesn't realize how beautiful she truly is, and I know for a fact every guy realizes it.

I was talking to Quinn on the phone last night, the conversation is still deeply embedded in my brain.

"What happened between you and Finn?

I hear her huff into the phone, "Oh gosh, you wouldn't believe what he said to me. He went on about how he really loves Rachel, and that he doesn't want to go another day without her. He said that he didn't realize how he was in love with Rachel and not me."

"Oh, are you sure he wasn't just confused?"

"No, I could hear it in his voice. He was serious."

The conversation went to normal things about school after that, but the whole time I couldn't get Rachel out of my mind. This means I have competition. The first person she ever loved wants her affection again. I don't know how I can compare to that, when I won't even fight to have her as my own.

I have this whole plan in my head as I walk into the Glee Club. How I'll sing a song, and I'll make Rachel realize it's for her. But when I walk into the classroom, I see Rachel in a deep conversation with Finn. A conversation that had her smiling and laughing. I've never seen her smile that way before, it was the same smile I thought was annoying while she was dating Finn. I feel my blood bubbling, but I don't let it get to me. I can't let anyone notice how upset I am, especially not Rachel.

Kurt is the first person to raise his hand in class today, he wants to sing a loving duet with Blaine. As much as I want to vomit every single time they sing together, I can't help but admire them. The love they show each other every single day, without ever worrying about what anyone else thinks, is amazing.

I raise my hand, "Mr. Shue?"

"Yes, Santana?"

I breathe deep, "Can I sing a song next?"

He smiles, "Sure."

My eyes lock the floor throughout Kurt and Blaine's performance. I'm not even exactly sure what they sang. I wish I listened, but all I could think about was how I am going to make a fool of myself. This song should be for Brittany that is who I'm dating. That's the girl I changed my entire life to be with, but I can't sing for her. I only want to sing for Rachel, I want her to know how I feel. She needs to know how I feel.

I stand up, and I walk towards the front of the room. I grab a stool from the front of the classroom and I nod to the band behind me.

"With one more look at you I could learn to tame the clouds and let the sun shine through. Leave a troubled past and I might start anew, I'll solve the mysteries if you're the prize. Refresh these tired eyes. With one more look at you I might overcome the anger that I've learned to know. Find a peace of mind I lost so long ago. Your gentle touch has made me strong again, and I belong again. For when you look at me."

I decide to sing a Barbra Streisand song, and I know for a fact I'm not going to completely nail it. But I wanted to try for Rachel's sake. This is her favorite person, and this song makes me feel something I've never felt before. I take a quick glance at Rachel, and I see the awe clear in her face. I could tell she enjoyed it, though.

I jump into a more upbeat song of Barbara's. Maybe to get the tension from the slow song out of the room. I stand up and start clapping.

"Watch closely now are you watching me now? Master magician whose setting you free from the lies you've been told. When you're breaking your back bring your last straw to me I turn straw into gold. I'm gonna need you later, when you're not around. But I can take it, don't look down. Watch closely now, are you watching me now?"

I end the song, and the whole room erupts into clapping. I was shocked when they even stood up for me, a standing ovation was actually pretty nice. I look over to my left to see Rachel standing, also. But she looked smaller than usual, and she was quite pale. I almost walk over to her, but Brittany stops me and gives me a huge hug.

She smiles, "Thanks for the song, babe."

I almost forget who I'm talking to, and I realize again I'm still with Brittany. I never broke up with her, and I don't know how I can after that song. Why can't life just be easy? Why can't I just be deeply in love with Brittany like I use to be? No, I don't love Rachel, but I can feel that if I gave us a chance, maybe one day I could. I just like when Rachel compliments me, it makes me feel like a little kid. I always seek approval from Rachel, and I never get that feeling with Brittany. It's always going to be the same with her, nothing will ever be different.

I look at the ground then back up, "Britt, we need to talk."

She smiles again, "Okay, about what?"

"Us, but we need to do it in private."

She smiles and grabs my hand. We walk into the bathroom, and I check every stall. I just don't want anyone to know what we are talking about, or maybe I am over paranoid.

I grab Brittany's left hand, "Look, I love you. I always have, and quite frankly I always will. You are my first love, and you've changed my life dramatically. I just don't think we are right for each other anymore, and I wish we were. We are just on two different levels, and I can't deal with that. I want to be friends, and I know how selfish that is of me to even ask."

She looks on the verge of tears, I have to look down to control my own emotions. I never wanted to end this way, and I never wanted to hurt her. She is such an important person in my life, and I just don't know what I'll do without her. Maybe I should have thought this through. Is Rachel really worth loosing Brittany over? I know deep down I know that answer. I know that Rachel is worth it, I just feel so guilty.

Brittany lifts my chin up, "Who is she?"

"What?"

"The girl you like, Santana. I really am not stupid, and I'm pretty sure I have an idea who it is."

"Who?"

"Rachel. I saw that you were staring at her throughout the song. Everyone noticed, I just chose to believe that everyone was being stupid."

"I'm so sorry, Brittany. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Don't be sorry. You can't help who you love, and I know you never meant to hurt me."

She hugs me and gives me a half smile. I stare into the mirror, and I try to realize what I just did. I breathe hard, and I realize Brittany is still standing there.

"One more thing, Santana. Stop stalling, and go after her. I heard Finn asked her to dinner."

She gives me one last smile and walks out the door. I pull out my phone, and I realize I have two missed calls from Rachel. There is a text in my inbox, also.

_I'm in the auditorium. As soon as you get this, meet me there. This is urgent. _

I stare at the message for a few seconds before I put my phone away. I guess this is now or never.

I walk through the double doors, and I see Rachel sitting on the edge of the stage. I can tell she is deep in thought, so I clear my throat to make my presence known. Before I can even think about saying anything, Rachel speaks up.

"What do you think you were doing, Santana?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Just a quick note, I am starting this paper back at when Santana was singing to Rachel, but it'll be in Rachel's point of view. Also, I just quickly wrote this before my first class of the day. Sorry for any mistakes, because I didn't really proof read it.**

Rachel's P.O.V.

When I heard the first cord being struck on the guitar, I knew instantly what song it was. It is sung by hero, Barbra. Santana is singing this song for me, there is no other reason she'd be singing this song. It just isn't her speed. I sway to the music, with the biggest smile on my face. Something catches my eye on my right, I see Brittany swaying, too. That's when I realized how Brittany probably thinks this song is for her. She has every right to think that, Santana is her girlfriend.

I feel like I'm going to vomit, but I keep my head down. Hopefully not gaining any unnecessary attention. I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I still keep my head down.

The person whispers in my ear, "How does it feel to be a girlfriend stealer?"

I recognize this voice to be Quinn's, and I feel my stomach churning even more. A girlfriend stealer? I never saw it that way, I never thought of it that way. The whole time that Santana and I texted, or even shared a laugh. I didn't realize that the entire time that was happening, Brittany was slowly losing a girlfriend. I don't know how I could do that to someone so sweet.

Finn glares at me, "Girlfriend stealer? You are talking to Santana?"

I breathe hard, "Why's it matter?"

He looks genuinely hurt, "I thought we were working on getting back together."

"No, Finn. You can't just leave me for someone else, and when thinks get boring decide to come back to me. I won't deal with that."

Santana is still singing, and I try to talk as low as possible. She does sound amazing, and she is hitting all the notes.

I hear a slight snarl in Quinn's voice, "Why did you feel the need to go after her? She is already taken, and you should respect that. She is only going after you, because you are conquest. She's never been with someone that doesn't instantly want her. She had to work to get you. Just leave her alone, Berry. She's better off with Brittany."

I swallow hard and nod. The song ends, and I feel my body standing and clapping, also. But I don't feel like I'm in control. I don't feel like I'm the one who just stood up. I feel Santana's eyes on me, but I look down and head out the door.

I go straight to the auditorium, and I sit on the edge of the stage. Normally, I'd break out in a song to consider my feelings, but I can't even think of one that could describe my feelings. Maybe Quinn is right, Santana does deserve Brittany. Brittany deserves Santana more than I do. I hear the doors open, and I look up to see Finn walking through the door. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe I am supposed to be with Finn, and Santana is supposed to be with Brittany. That's how things have always been, why change them now?

Finn sits on the edge of the stage next to me, and he gives me a half smile. I try to give one back, but I just don't feel like smiling.

"So, I'm guessing the rumors are true about Santana. You like her?"

I swallow, "I do."

He nods, "I understand. I lost my chance a long time ago, and you have every right to like someone else. I respect that, I just think you need to think about the fact Santana is already in a relationship. They've been through so much together. I'm just wondering, are you sure you can break that up? I just know you, Rach. You'll feel so bad every time you see Brittany. It's like when you told me that you felt bad every time you saw Quinn. You just have a big heart, and I don't want to see you getting hurt in the process. But I'm here for you no matter what."

I nod and I feel the tears start to fall. Finn wraps me into his arms, and I can't help but fall in them. It feels so good to have his strong arms around me again, but it doesn't feel like it used to. I pull away, and I smile.

"Thanks, Finn."

He stands up, and with a slight nod he leaves the room. Again, I'm in the auditorium lost in my own thought. I pull out my phone.

_I'm in the auditorium. As soon as you get this, meet me there. This is urgent. _

I sit back on the edge of the stage, and I think everything I should potentially say to Santana. I don't know if I am can be considered a girlfriend stealer. I like Santana, a lot. I am just not sure if all this is worth, and Finn's words are stuck in my head. He's right, I will feel terrible every time I look at Brittany. There is so much guilt that comes with ruining a perfectly great relationship. I hear a noise, and I look up. Santana is standing a few feet away from me. I quickly get to my feet, I see her mouth opening to say something. But I quickly interject.

"What do you think you were doing, Santana?"

Those words came out a lot harsher than I expected. The hurt is so prevalent in her eyes, and all I want to do is take it away. But I can't, we have to talk about this.

She clears her throat, "What do you mean?"

I look at her, "That song. The entire Glee club, besides maybe Brittany, knew you were singing it to me. It was so obvious."

She looks hurt again, "I didn't know it was a huge problem that people knew about us."

"It isn't. You just never thought it through. Did you consider what people were going to think about me? I had Quinn whispering in my ear the entire time saying I was some girlfriend stealer. I can't do this, Santana."

"I get it. You are too scared to be considered anything but annoying. I thought I was doing something nice, but of course you'd find a way to make things worse than they are."

"Maybe I am overreacting, but they were all right. I can't deal with being the reason Brittany and you broke up. That will always hurt. I do like you, more than you could imagine, but I can't ruin something perfect. We don't even know what will happen between us."

I grab my stuff off the stage, and I don't give Santana anytime to respond. I keep my head down, and I walk out of the building. I don't know where I am headed, but anywhere besides McKinley High sounded good to me. I honestly don't know what I just did. I haven't liked someone this much since Finn, and I just ended it. It makes no sense why I'd do that. I should have just stuck things out, and let Santana protect me. I am sure that's what she wanted to do anyway.

I see a dinner off in the distance, and I decide to step in to relax. The smell of greasy hamburgers hit my nostrils instantly. I grab a seat in the booth near the window. A waitress with brown curly hair came up to me. She could be in her mid-forties, but she was beautiful. She takes her pen out from behind her ear.

"What would you like, hun?"

I look down, and I think for a second.

"How about an order of fries and a chocolate milk shake."

She laughs, and jots it all down on her notepad.

"It'll be right out, honey."

I smile at her, and I turn to look out the window. It's a beautiful day. I feel my phone vibrate, and I pull it out. It's Kurt.

_Rachel, Santana has been looking for you. I don't know how many times she has come up to me asking me if I've heard from you. You really need to contact her, I know things in Glee club got awkward. But I can tell she really likes you. Rumor is she already broke up with Brittany, and Brittany was totally okay with it. Just tell me where you are at._

I look down, I know as soon as I tell where I am at, Santana will come walking through those doors. She will want an explanation, she will want to know if I really like her. I decide to tell Kurt where I'm at. I can't avoid Santana forever, and I don't think I want to. I've been regretting ending things since I left the high school. But I still don't know if I can deal with being the reason a perfect could broke up. Maybe that's selfish, but I feel terrible about it.

The waitress comes and sets down my food. I nod and say thank you. I grab the ketchup bottle on my left, and put some on the plate next to my fries. I grab one, and pop it into my mouth. They were definitely delicious, and so was my milk shake. I eat my food, and when I look up I see the door of the dinner opening and Santana walking through.

She sees me, and sits down across from me. Her eyes never leave mine, and for some reason I love that. I don't let my eyes leave hers either.

She grins, "So, I can tell you do like me and that wasn't a joke. Why did you end things? Quinn isn't going to bug us, Rachel. She is only mad that I am hanging out with you more than her. I really like you, and I don't feel like losing you now."

I feel my heart flutter at her words, and I feel the heat raising in my cheeks. I don't normally blush, and I never thought I'd blush because of Santana.

"I really like you, Santana. I just don't want people always harassing us because we are together. I don't want to hate each other at some point, because people have turned us against each other."

Santana grins again, "All I really want is officially call you mine. So, can we make that happen?"

I laugh, "Like, official? The entire school knows we are together? Hold hands and kiss type of official?"

She nods, "Yeah, that kind of official."

She pushes me over so she can get into my side of the booth. She touches my chin, and brings my face to hers. The kiss was passionate and light, but I felt the sparks.


End file.
